Enough is Enough, Fucksticks

Y' know... there's a lot been going on personally. More than I'll tell you and by tell you, I mean, just no. But enough to keep my mind spinning in about 5,000 directions all at the same time.

I know this blog has gotten some dust on it more than once and I seriously want to unfuck that (in case you're wondering, yes... today I'll be channeling Geoff Cooper as so often comparisons have been drawn between he and I... tonight, it's because, quite honestly, I'm fucking fed up).

I WANTED to create a blog solely thanking each and every one of you that has bought a print copy of an ebook of my novel, The Compound. It means more to me than you realize. In case you didn't hear about it on Twitter, Facebook or wherever... if you have read The Compound and go leave a review on Amazon.com  as soon as I hit 20 reviews, I'll be doing a random drawing of 5 names for a giveaway of a very, very rare chapbook called New Dawn. Just shoot me an email at bob@whutta.com when you leave a review and you're in. Thanks in advance.

Now... onto the bullshittery that has pissed me off to ridiculous proportions on this fine evening.

First, let me say that I cannot even BEGIN to imagine the anguish, pain, and utter emotional destruction the parents of the children at  Sandy Hook. If one of my children got killed in a school shooting, I'd be right in the looney bin, I have no doubt. The only thing that may pull me back is knowing my other child was still alive.

The shootings at Columbine were such an utter atrocity from two disturbed young men that it defies explanation.

The shootings at the showing of the Batman movie... again... such a disturbed individual, it's beyond definition.

My truest, deepest, sympathies lie with the innocents killed during those events, and the loved ones still alive to mourn the fallen for the rest of their lives.

I think there should be stricter gun control in our country. I am a gun owner. I wish I could afford more. I think it is our right as Americans and as our forefathers intended, to be bearers of arms. Let's get that stance out of the way here first.

I do not have any solution to the gun control issue. I have thought and thought about this... I think there should be stricter background checks and, hell, psychological evaluations may help. But if there is a mentally disturbed individual intending to do harm to a playground of school kids, or a theatre of movie goers, or a mall of shoppers... IT'S GOING TO HAPPEN. They WILL find a way.

If I had been locked the fuck up in a mental ward for years, arrested for standing in a public bus station and smearing peanut butter over myself and playing Fade to Black on a bagpipe in public... I could STILL go about 45 minutes in three different directions from where I live and purchase an illegal fully automatic weapon without trying very hard. People WILL find a way.

Okay... moving on.

What in the BLUE FUCK is wrong with some of the school officials?

Have you read THIS article?

http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/maryland/bs-md-ar-pastry-student-appeal-20130610,0,3475829.story


Now this all happened a while back. The kid chewed a Poptart (don't cheat.. go look at the link and come back.. you'll see the chewed Poptart.

Officials won't expunge the kid's suspension record OVER A GODDAMN BREAKFAST PASTRY???

Recently there was another child who brought a capgun to school - sans caps - a silver Lone Ranger cowboy type pistol with a big bright orange cap on the end of it.

The Principal questioned him for hours until the child was so frightened he pissed himself.

Now... let me ask you this, if you're a parent. How would YOU react in that situation? I told my son if he ever gets questioned on anything at school for longer than ten minutes, he should tell the principal to call me.

I cannot possibly at this point, fathom the rage I would feel by finding out my son pissed his pants out of fear after being questioned by an authority at school for hours - AND I HADN'T BEEN CALLED.

I told my son I'd have probably been arrested in that situation and it was a very true statement.

Over the past several years there have been numerous news stories about children at school with gun-related... ANYTHING... where school officials went overboard in the situation.

Enough is enough.

If you are entrusted with a title in the school system, and you're entrusted with looking after my child during the school day... you damn well better have enough common sense to know when to freak out and when not to.

HERE'S A HINT...

A FUCKING POPTART isn't the time to freak out.

Neither is an orange tipped capgun. The kid brought it to school for show and tell.

The Lone Ranger movie is coming out very soon. Know what I wanted to be for a while as a kid? The Lone Ranger. I had capguns. Many of them. They were fun. I pretended I was the Lone Ranger and the Outlaw Josey Wales and Jeremiah Johnson and NOT ONCE DID I EVER THINK OF KILLING PEOPLE AT SCHOOL.

Neither are these kids. You... good people... have jumped the goddamn shark.

Elizabeth Monteleone on Facebook recently commented on an article about a deaf child who - while signing his NAME - got into trouble because the action of signing looked like a gun.

ARE YA FUCCCCCCCKING KIDDING ME?

They actually tried to make the kid change his name to something else so he could sign it differently.

You... officials... are absolute FUCKTARDS.

Enough is enough.

Stop panicking on absolute bullshit.

Grow a set and figure it out... when it's time to freak and when it's time to not. Deep down inside, you KNOW the difference. As much as I sympathize with all of the loved ones from the atrocities committed in our country over the past years... I'd be willing to bet my dick and a dollar that even THEY wouldn't be reacting the same way you all are over a breakfast pastry or a cowboy capgun.

So there's that...

and (still channelling Geoff Cooper for this evening)... there's my two cents... your mileage may vary.

Love you all.
b

A Thank You

The Compound sold out from Thunderstorm Books in a week flat, and I'd personally like to thank those of you who bought a copy. It really means a lot and if the incoming reviews continue suit, it sounds like you're all enjoying it, which means a lot as well.

A little bit of fun news: I've been asked to do the morning show on Fox43 on May 9 to come on and talk about The Compound, so that ought to be a ton of fun and help spread the word a bit too.

But for now, I'm giving a thank you to my readers.

I came across a personal stash of a very rare chapbook called New Dawn, featuring an intro and short fiction by Brian Keene, Nate Southard, Maurice Broaddus, Kelli Owen and my own short story - never reprinted anywhere else - Bloodlegum and Lolliknives.

If you read The Compound, please leave a review of it on Amazon and when I hit at least 20 reviews, I'll pick 5 names at random (shoot me an email at bob@whutta.com to let me know you left a review) and send out 5 copies of New Dawn.

Click here for the link to The Compound on Amazon.

Lots of other stuff in the works that I'll let you all know about soon.

Again, thanks so very much to all of you.

Coming Soon: The Compound

Late March will see the release of my first full-length novel, The Compound, coming from Thunderstorm Books. Zach McCain illustrated and designed the cover and to say I think he hit this one out of the park would be an understatement. Zach did the cover illustration for my novella, Samson and Denial, and I couldn't wait to see his treatment on The Compound.

As a sneak peak, here's the dust jacket:

I hope you all enjoy reading it when it comes out. It's brutal and bloody and as fast-paced as you would come to expect from me.

Working on a couple of things at the moment, an off-genre novel that I'll tell you more about as I approach the end (almost at the halfway point now), and scribbling notes and ideas for a novel length sequel to Samson and Denial, titled The Crimson Sisters.

Hope you're all doing well and making the universe your bitch. I'll do the best I can to follow your lead.

-b

Special Christmas Ebook Sale!

Starting today, December 24th, authors Robert Ford, J. F. Gonzalez, Brian Keene, Kelli Owen, and Robert Swartwood have teamed up to make several of their ebooks available for just 99 cents each -- over twenty titles!

• From Robert Ford, his novella Samson and Denial, available from both the US Kindle Store and the UK Kindle Store.

• From J. F. Gonzalez, his novels They, The Corporation, The Beloved, Shapeshifter, and the novella Do Unto Others -- all available in the US Kindle Store, the UK Kindle Store, the Nook Store, and the Kobo Store.

• From Brian Keene, his novellas Alone and Scratch, available from the US Kindle Store, the UK Kindle Store, the Nook Store, and the Kobo Store.

• From Kelli Owen, her novels Six Days and White Picket Prisons, as well as the novellas Waiting Out Winter and The Neighborhood, and the collection Black Bubbles -- all available in the US Kindle Store and the UK Kindle Store.

• From Robert Swartwood, his novels The Calling, The Dishonored Dead, The Serial Killer's Wife, Man of Wax, The Inner Circle, No Shelter, as well as his novella The Man on the Bench and his collection Phantom Energy: [Very Short] Stories -- all available in the US Kindle Store, the UK Kindle Store, the Nook Store, the Kobo Store, and iTunes.

This special sale will only run through Wednesday, December 26th, so grab your copies now!

Facts All Come with Points of View. Facts Don't Do What I Want Them To.

The shooting today was an indescribable horror to be certain and my heart and sympathy goes out to the parents and friends and families of the victims today. As a person, it saddens me, and as a parent, I cannot, and do not, want to imagine the sheer and utter grief they must be going through at the tragic and senseless loss of a child today and the everlasting pain to come for them each and every day.

I see people posting on Facebook, doing their thing, expressing their opinion, and voicing a reaction. It's called "Social Media" for a reason...and whether it's religious, political, or a reaction to some sort of terrible event such as this, whether you want to read it or not, everyone has the right to their opinion. It's their own personal platform, so have at it, take the digital soap box and say what you will.

Because I am.

I just saw a post that had a letter written out:

Dear God,

Why do you allow so much violence in our schools?

signed,

A concerned student.

Dear Concerned Student,

I'm not allowed in schools.

God

I've read short rants: OUTLAW GUNS! ALL OF THEM!

I've read long rants and charts about gun-related violence.

I've read poetry and posts about parents hugging their kids a bit tighter tonight.

I even read a great quote from Gandhi:

You must not lose faith in humanity.

Humanity is an ocean. If a few drops of the ocean are dirty,

the ocean does not become dirty.

The post I read that I come close to agreeing with the most was one of my brother's... stating that if he was the parent of one of the fallen children, he'd like ten minutes alone in a room with the gunmen. I understand his post completely, though I would take a completely different approach to my own revenge... and yes, there wouldn't be a turning the other cheek for me on something like this. There would be revenge. Would it change the fact that a child of mine was dead? No. No, it wouldn't. And I know it wouldn't make me feel better at the loss of one of my children, but be damned if I let the individual continue to breath the same air that my child once did. Sometimes karma works out... other times, it needs a good elbow check.

Here's the thing. In this country, guns will never be outlawed. Not going to happen. I agree there could be tighter gun control laws, but they're never going to be outlawed, nor do I think they should be.

But Bob! If there were no more guns, then these kind of tragic events wouldn't happen!

Oh? If a mentally disturbed individual gets it in their head to do something like this, it's going to happen - with or without guns.

Need I remind you of a death toll of 168 people and over 800 wounded In Oklahoma City with a Ryder truck, about two and a half tons of fertilizer and some racing fuel?

Quiet, upstanding, former military guy named Timothy McVeigh.

Or the Sarin gas attacks in Tokyo - killing 13, severely injuring fifty, and causing temporary vision problems for at least a thousand.

There are more dangerous things than guns, friends and when you close the door to one evil, sometimes it only opens the door to another evil that's infinitely worse.

The details are still unraveling on what happened at the elementary school. Hell, reporters seem to have even gotten the name incorrect and some poor guy on Facebook had his page shut down because of people slamming and post on it — and the guy's friends — because of the error.

But even though the details are sketchy, I think it's safe to go ahead and figure the shooter was incredibly unbalanced. So far, the details seem to point to the fact that they weren't even his guns. They were registered to his mother.

If people want guns in order to commit some heinous crime — whether it be a bank robbery, or a mass shooting, or anything else — they'll find a way to get them, illegal or not. Don't think so? You're fooling yourself. I could take a forty minute drive in a couple of directions right now from where I live in no-one-gives-a-shitville, USA and buy unregistered pistols, rifles, and probably with a bit of prodding, fully automatic rifles, as long as I had the cash.

And gun laws won't change a thing about that, except if you outlaw guns, then the outlaws will have the guns.

I'm not going to stand here on a pulpit and say I'm behind the NRA. They are an organization that I've watched as its members act on an almost cult-like method of operation. But I do think it's the right of Americans to bear arms.

I am a gun owner. I grew up around gun owners. I know and am friends with lots of gun owners. 

A gun is an inanimate object and can do nothing on its own. It's not the gun, it is the person behind it that causes the problem. Just as a person can purchase bags of ammonium nitrate fertilizer for their crops instead of using it to blow up an office building.

"Ok, asshole," (I can hear some of you say), "what's the freaking solution? How do we prevent things like this from happening?"

Well, to be honest, I don't really know. This type of mental imbalance usually doesn't happen at the flick of a switch — drug-induced insanity aside. How about mandatory mental check-ups along with the physical during our years at school? Believe me when I tell you, the well of crazy runs deep, but it doesn't suddenly spring eternal. That cold dark pool takes a long run from a tap before it spills over the stone walls that contain it. Maybe a smart high school guidance counselor could spot the signs early... maybe not. But it can't hurt, can it?

As for gun control - sure, I agree with some of the rants going on. I don't happen to think anyone really "needs" a 30-round clip for hunting deer. You can't hit a deer in ten? Too bad. Learn to shoot better. As for banning semi-automatics? I don't think so. 

Given the choice in walking out of my office during a late night, I can assure you that I'd insist on having a semi-automatic on my person rather than a revolver. If the shit hits the fan and you end up in a bad spot where speed of firing makes the difference between your life and lying in the alleyway bleeding to death, then semi-automatic it is.

Again - it's not the weapon... it's the person behind it.

But this is just my opinion... and in the words of one of my best friends (unnamed, as to not inadvertently drag him into this potential firestorm) — also a gun owner, and an extremely responsible one — your mileage may vary.

Farther Than It Seems

I have worries to give to the sea.

We can walk dear, the pier is farther than it seems

Avett Brothers - At the Beach

It's almost 2:00 in the morning as I type this. Felt ready to collapse a couple hours ago and got a second wind. Been working through a Dante's Hell of revisions on a design project tonight (and last night and the night before, clients rapping, rapping at my chamber door).

Been feeling raw lately. Nerves on edge. Always feeling at the verge of something. Eyes getting glassy at song lyrics, movie trailers, blogs I read or the look of people's eyes on the sidewalks.

Not really sure why, either.

Been working my ass off lately. Had some life changes as far as work goes. I started working with an ex-business partner of mine and it was easy to see from the get-go that we've both grown and changed and are in a better place now (well, I guess I mean "me" more than "we") than we were years ago. Work is going well though we'd both like things to be busier. More insane. That tornado in a tea-cup that the advertising world is known for.

It'll happen. There was a bit of a social hiccup with business and the election outcome. That's not just an opinion of mine, it's backed up on the reaction of cold calls and other business owners, believe me.

Getting cold outside. Starting to hate even going out in the mornings to start the engine of my truck and let it warm up before I drive the kids to school or my own dragging ass to work.

Gonna get even colder soon.

I woke up this morning to find Brian Keene had taken an informal poll about whether or not people had the sensation that something big and/or bad is about to happen.

Knowing Brian, I had an idea he would do this. That feeling was something we had recently talked about on Thanksgiving.

I've had that feeling for about the last six years or so. It's a pressure about to give way. It's the hiss of a big wave cresting... the one you just know is going to drop a sledgehammer on the beach and shotgun spray the sand, the air, the night sky with saltwater diamonds a mile wide. It's a tidal wave waiting in the wings. It's an unnamed perfect storm brewing in the shadows of the warm islands.

It's the unknown.

I walk the city streets by my office, going to Central Market to grab a styrofoam cup of soup or a foil wrapped sandwich and the people I pass by have chips of granite in their eyes. They've all gone hard, and not city hard, much worse. I don't think many of them know the reason why. 

Just walking past them, you feel a cold breeze, even on days when the sun still shines warm upon your skin. There's a tension in the air, a collective holding-your-breath type of vibe I don't much like. It sets me on edge and makes me cautious wherever I go.

I've joked recently... quite often, actually... every time a minor event takes place. Earthquakes in Maine. New Jersey. Vancouver. Hurricane Sandy.

I've joked "well, the end is coming in about a month now, so we should be seeing a lot more of this." The end of the world should be coming up, according to those old Mayan transcribers. December 21. My brother's birthday. My former anniversary.

Oh, the irony.

I don't know. I don't subscribe to the theory it'll be the end of the world then. I think we're maybe ushering into an era of change and growth and perhaps the death of a certain type of thing we've come to know and be familiar and comfortable with.

I don't know. I suppose none of us really does.

But what I do know is I'm weary. I'm feeling a bit haggard and not in a good Merle sort of way.

I know the only constant is change. Damned to hell, I know that.

I know winter is on its way.

I know this year the winds smell funny.

I know the look in people's eyes isn't going to go away any time soon.

I know there are lots of worries of mine I'd like to give to the sea, but damned to hell, that pier seems so very long.

The Next Big Thing: The Compound

So there's this blog idea that's making its way around called "The Next Big Thing" and apparently everyone on the planet has been tagged in it, including me.

Soooo here goes. 

1) What is the title of your next book?

The title of my next book is called The Compound

2) Where did the idea come from for the book?

Well, see, here's the thing. I generally get titles first from my muse and then have to figure out what the hell is attached to the title. It's both a gift and a curse. It's a gift because often I get some pretty kickass titles, if I do humbly say so. Fans still tell me their favorite is Bloodlegum and Lolliknives, but I digress.

Somewhere along the line I got the title in my head and then things started churning. I figured out what the Compound actually is: a very modern, high security prison. And then... then... well, in all honesty, it sort of stuck there like a chicken bone in my throat.

Eventually, as it always does, if an idea is worth its salt, things started meshing together. I'm the father of two amazing kids, one of each flavor. My daughter turned a teenager this year and I think — no, I know — there was more than a little fear of the future when I started writing the novel. Every writer I've ever met writes out their blood in metaphor and I'm no different. I've been through the utter emotional hell of a divorce. I've been up, I've been down. I've held my chips and folded winning hands, and to the sage advice of Kenny, I've never counted my money while I was sitting at the table. But being the father of a daughter on the verge of being a young woman is its very own thing. 

I had never, ever planned to write a zombie novel. The only zombie fiction I've ever done is a short story called "Pleasing Marlena" and I think that ended up on talesofworldwarz.com 

My stories are always very character driven. Whatever else is happening... well, that's that. The real story is how the characters deal with it. How it makes them change and adapt and overcome or fail.

3) What genre does your book fall under?

Horror.

4) What actors would you choose to play the part of your characters in a movie rendition?

 Hmm. Good question. I skipped out of writing prose for a while and focused on screenplays, and after coming back to my senses, I noticed my prose had changed. I was writing much more visually, painting a more vivid picture for the reader, so I tend to think "movie rendition" in the back of my head as I'm writing now.

If we're talking Hollywood, I'm just going to go headfirst on into it then.

Jason Statham for my lead, Jake. 

Julie Bowen as Ashley.

Benjamin Bratt as Sombra.

Benicio Del Toro as Spider.

Sam Shepherd as Calvin.

5) What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?

Never underestimate the depths of a parents love and the hell they'll go through to save their child—even during the zombie apocalypse.

Now, if I was doing an elevator pitch to Hollywood, the pitch would be: "It's Taken, Dawn of the Dead, and American Me thrown into a blender."

6) Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?

Neither. A publisher is already lined up but I'll announce all of the details at a later date.

7) How long did it take you to write the first draft of the manuscript?

Between juggling my day job and life in general, about two years. 

8) What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?

Honestly, I'm not really sure. There are so many zombie novels out now. I blame Brian Keene (with love and affection).

9) Who or what inspired you to write this book?

My daughter, most definitely. Other than that, nothing comes to mind, really. It all sort of gelled together over a period of time.

10) What else about the book might pique the reader’s interest?

People who live around the York, PA region will notice I've written pretty true to the area and it's always fun if you recognize landmarks where you live. The pace doesn't hold back at all and fans who have read Samson and Denial will know what I mean. In the past two years, I've tried to read several zombie novels and there was such a build up that the story became boring. When shit finally hit the fan it was sort of anti-climactic. 

There's none of that with The Compound. 

If a zombie apocalypse ever actually happens, society is going to be thrown head first right into the middle of it. There's not going to be any slow build or time to get prepared (if you're not already).