Thursday, October 02, 2008

Same as It Ever Was...

Although my chest feels as if I have turning leaves rattling around inside, for the most part, Captain Tripps has left me unscathed, unlike other fellow Contexters, who sound as if they are Death warmed over.

I'd been working up a Context report... and that'll be forthcoming, honest. But there's more important fish to fry at the moment.

See... my morning started halfway through my first cup of coffee with a call from Brian Keene. I answered groggily, still savoring caffeine on my lips, and continued questioning for a few moments until I realized he wasn't going to speak... just let the song Once in a Lifetime, by the Talking Heads, unfurl in the background.

Not that I don't enjoy talking to Brian... but this time, the song was all that was needed.

The song has always resonated with me and depending on when I hear it and what's going on in my life at the time, it takes on new levels of meaning. I'd have to dig back in the archives here, but I'm pretty sure I've quoted it on my blog once or twice. And over the past few days, it's taken on yet another few definitions to explore.

Not sure why, but it appears that a lot of my friends are having relationship issues right now in one form or another. I recently told someone that I think sometimes it's more important to realize who you don't love, than who you do love.

Anyone who's followed this blog long enough knows that I'm a believer in karma.. what comes around goes around. And on that same path, there are things that happen in your life that shape your future. Things that you have to go through and experience to prepare you for something else... something... bigger.

And there are those odd little moments of synchronicity. You know the kind... you're running late because you spilled coffee on your shirt and because you were running late, you missed the jack knifed rig on the highway by seconds. Someone steps away from a slot machine and you throw a quarter in and hit the jackpot. Strange little moments of time and chance coming together in a little sensual dance.

And then there are the people you meet in your life. The ones that somehow, subtly nudge you in certain directions. They make you view life with a new pair of eyes and see things that were right in front of you the entire time. Just that you were either too stubborn or too beaten down to notice them yourself.

Those are the moments that I love the most. I suppose it's easy to look back and justify the past and how it affects the present. Any hack writer with half an imagination could do that. But often times, the people who have entered my life have altered things for me in ways that I could've never dreamed.

We are walls. We are open doors. We are both exits and entries. Each moment is an opportunity for bettering ourselves and those around us. Each moment a chance for refusing to put up with the lives we've become accustomed to, and push ahead and fight for something better... something we deserve as basic creatures.

One of my best friends is standing at an open door at the moment. On the other side is a world of unknowns. It's scary. It's somewhat intimidating. But what it is, is an opportunity to wring karma silly little neck and forge a brand new path.

It takes bravery to do such a thing - to step through. It takes a small amount of insanity too. It's jumping off a cliff based on nothing but faith... nothing but the glyphs of power you've chosen as your own.

And no matter what she decides - what we all decide - those days keep going by.


**Thanks for the call, Brian... right now, that's not a bad song to have rolling around in my head at all.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bob, that was a post I really needed right now. myself was faced with an open door a year and a half ago and walked through it. Lately, I've been wondering if I made the right decision and I've found myself, in my heart, regretting doing it, even though my mind keeps telling me I did the right thing. Somehow, I'm still not sure if I did the right thing...

12:29 PM  
Blogger Brian Keene said...

That wasn't me. Someone has obviously gained access to my cell phone. I blame Coop.

2:44 PM  
Blogger Bob said...

Hey Joe! Glad to hear it... You know... there's always going to be moments of considering whether choices we've made in the past were right or wrong. Often times, it's not revealed until a lot later why things happen the way they do. No use regretting choices in the past... learn what you can from them and just keep plunging ahead m' friend.

And Brian? At first I thought you dialed accidentally... I was waiting to hear garbled Hunter Thompson gibberish and pistols being cocked in the background.


3:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for the advice Bob. I appreciate it. BTW, did you get that email I sent with my mailing address? And I sacrificed three poets to the Postal Gods, they should be plenty appeased now.

4:26 PM  

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