Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Just like Chicken

In a recently released medical report, investigators at the Vanderbilt University Medical Center have stated that proteins secreted from frogs are natural antibodies and potent blockers of HIV infection. Yep, you read it right. They continue by saying that the findings could lead to topical treatments for preventing HIV transmission.

Now I've given this some thought and I think there may be some initial hesitancy in the market place for such a product, but I'm fairly certain the conversation would go something like this:

So you topically apply the frog protein --

Frog protein?

Um.. yes, it's ahh... basically it's frog fat.

Frog fat? How do you get the fat from said frog?

Well, we have to kill them.

You kill them??

Yes, but it's in the name of science. But that's not the... see, after you get the frog fat, er, protein, the frog protein, you apply it topically to the erect penis and--

You what??? Let me get this straight. You kill the frogs and then want me to rub frog fat on my weiner?

Well, I wouldn't put it exactly that way, but yes, it's--

OH MY GOD! Of all the sick perverted piece of--

It kills the HIV virus.


Naturally. The frog fa--protein has natural antibodies in it that actually kills the virus.

I rub frog fat on my weiner and it kills HIV?


Well, that's uh... Miss Piggy's gonna be one weeping bitch, cause Kermit's deader than fried chicken.

How many billions of dollars have been spent on HIV and a possible prevention method is found in stagnant ponds and creek beds? If this wasn't so ironic, I'd laugh about it. I'd just like to know what brainchild actually considered testing this out in the first place.

I'm off to get a Red Bull and some frog legs.


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